Race Relations

The following is my perspective as an Asian American in the great city of New York.


The Black Panthers

I observed that if I have a problem with a black person, the first thing that comes out of their mouths maybe 7 out of 10 times is the word “chink” or “jap.” Was our argument over race in the first place? No, but people always want to bring that up. I stoop to that level immediately and say the word, “nigger” and a look of utter shock always comes on their faces like they want to call Al Sharpton and have a rally in my neighborhood because I’m the first Asian person inducted into the KKK. What, just because I’m Asian they expect that I’m not going to get racial too? It’s okay for them, just not me.

A few months ago, I was sitting in my car and already having a bad day and this big fat black guy walking by says, “Everytime I turn around all I see are these ugly ass immigrants.”

I got the fuck out of my car and yelled to him, “I was born here you fuckin’ jigaboo. Your grandparents came here in fuckin’ chains!”

Fatboy then takes off his iPod earphones and says, “You ain’t got nuthin’ for me.” Then turns and walks off.

I then went right behind him and shoved him to the ground. “Try me fuckin’ asshole and don’t ever in your fuckin’ life turn your back to me.”

Can you believe that the fuckin’ guy started crying and asked that I leave him alone? All of a sudden, I felt a wave of pity for this guy and said, “Don’t talk so much shit that you can’t back up. Somebody might seriously hurt you. ” I actually helped the guy up and he walked off. He was obviously mentally ill, but how am I supposed to know that when he wants to say personal shit? 

Or how about the time this one black lady called my wife an eggroll because they were arguing over a parking space? Then the bitch gets on her cell phone and tells the mystery person on the other line to “bring something for these chinks.” I then got pissed and grabbed my dick and said, “I got your fuckin’ eggroll right here, bitch! Want some duck sauce or cream of sum yung gai? I also have fried chicken and watermelon for your bloated ass. You’re not fuckin’ gangster. Stop watching so much fuckin’ TV. I’m no gangster but I’ll beat the shit out of whoever the fuck you call.”

The bitch ends up calling the cops. They came and questioned her and then me. Then they asked me if I said anything racial to her. I said that right after she got racial with me I did, fuck that. When the cops finish their questioning they tur, this bitch demands their supervisor. Apparently she wants me to be locked up because of my remarks and have it labeled as a hate crime. Yeah right, like she didn’t start off with that eggroll shit. That shit was okay, though.


The Ku Klux Klan


I'm in this fuckin' picture, I'm not a fuckin' American?

White people are no better sometimes. If they come up to me and ask for directions, the first thing that they ask is if I speak English. Go fuck yourself. I was born in this fuckin’ country. I fought in a war for this fuckin’ country and Bush’s stupidity. If I have a problem with a white person, they automatically tell me to go back to my country. Well I’m here, now what? If you’re not white or even black, then you’re not what’s considered American? 

 How about when I was picking up my daughter from church (Yeah, she’s a Christian. Fuck it) and this car beeped at me because I was double parked and when I moved my car (It took less than 5 seconds), the white cracker pussy motherfucker  in the other car makes those Miley Cyrus eyes at me? I chased that punk bitch down and we both got out of our vehicles. He had that Brooklyn Italian accent that puts us New Yorkers to shame. I then started to call him a fuckin’ wop and Tony Bignose. I told him to get a plate of pasta and “fuhgedaboutit.” His fuckin’ wife calls the cops too while Big Pussy runs back in the car because I was more “racist” than he was. I showed  my Army ID to the responding officers and told them that I was in fuckin’ Iraq and that nobody was going to tell me that I’m not American. No fuckin’ body. Not even the fuckin’ mafia.


Mexican migrant workers

Speaking of English, why the fuck isn’t it the primary language? Signs in all state and federal agencies are in both English and Spanish! We’re in America, amigo! My parents learned the language before they came over here and you can too! Putting signs up in Spanish is an insult because it’s saying that you’re too stupid to learn English. All these advocates for putting up signs in Spanish are just shooting themselves in the foot. The idiots think that they’re advocating for equality but how can you be equal if you can’t speak English. If we stay more than two weeks in another country, you better be damn sure that I would make an effort to learn that language. Comprende?


If you're not Jewish, don't call us!

What’s the deal with all these Jewish patrols and Jewish ambulances? What if the Gentiles needed help, would they just bypass you? Back in 1991, that’s exactly what happened in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Two young black kids get run over by a Jewish man driving a van. A Jewish ambulance responds to the scene and takes the Jewish driver and leaves the black kids. One of the kids dies and it sets off riots that summer. Oy vey! If you’re not Jewish, fuck off and die! Death to the Gentiles!

At least us Filipinos have Manny Pacquaio.

Pacman...The motherfuckin' champ!

Pacman...The motherfuckin' champ!

He’ll bust your  motherfuckin’ ass no matter if you’re black, white, Latino Asian, whatever.

The preceding was written by a true American. I am the new face of America…see me and despair.

3 Responses to “Race Relations”

  1. Down with the Kuku;
    Up with the MuMu!

    (Mu being the Greek letter M for Mage Myatt).


  2. Oh, you underestimate your people brother Rich. The first president who liberated the Island from Spanish rule was an Filipino who served under MacArthur I think. He became a Freemason, and after the war (WWII) I think; went to liberate his people. A modern George Washington and revolutionary who actually fought for freedom.

    Not to mention your ancient and mysterious “Polynesian” ancestors who sailed and colonized every island from Hawaii, to Madagascar, Taiwan, and New Zealand, in ancient aeons. The history may have been forgotten… but their ancient blood still flows in you.


    • It’s not that I’m underestimating them. I’m just pointing out the current pinoy ass-kicker. Dude, I’m just like you, I’ve got a problem with everybody. I’ll even write about how other pinoys piss me off too.

      Lapu Lapu for life!

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